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Smartie Mine
Sound Clip
The paint is not yet dry
The clothes are not yet on
Only one place where I could
Go to be understood
Only one place
Only one face
Smartie mine
Smartie mine
Smartie mine
Smartie mine
I wanna go
Deep down smartie mine
Down a shaft of green
Down a shaft of blue
I have a paint brush
I wanna spread my colors around
Not to be careless, though
Only one place to go
Smartie mine
Smartie mine
Smartie mine
Smartie mine
Deep down under the ground
There's a place where it's always sun
Deep down under the Earth
There's chocolate for everyone
There's chocolate for everyone
Down a shaft of red
Down a shaft of red
Not be too nervous though
We've come too far
Smartie mine
Smartie mine
Smartie mine
Smartie mine
Smartie mine
Smartie mine
Smartie mine
Smartie mine
I wanna go
Deep down smartie mine
Smartie mine
Smartie mine
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One Thing Real
Sound Clip
I come down the steps
I slip on the ice
Santa Claus been looking
Who's been naughty
Who's been nice
I'm looking for one thing real tonight
And Jesus he comes up to me
Jesus he sits down
He says take this fucking cross off my back
I'm going downtown
I said oh ain't that your uniform
He offers me a toke
He says two thousand years is long enough
For this particular joke
He says I'm lookin' for one thing real tonight
And I'm up here singing
These songs every night
Sometimes I wanna just make 'em all
Up on the spot
Maybe they wouldn't rhyme too good
And they might not make sense
But then at least I wouldn't be
Repeating myself
I'm looking for one thing real tonight
And you're the one I've chosen
And I guess you've chosen me
Let's turn off the commercials
Let's turn off the TV
How well can we get to know
Each other in an hour
We can fight the daylight
We have that power
I'm looking for one thing real tonight
And Van Gogh sits next to me
With a bucket full of paste
He rips off my ear and says
Glue this to my face
I'd like to leave America
For someplace where they would
Not know a word of English
And I might be understood
I'm looking for one thing real tonight
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Tiger Woods
Sound Clip
I got big balls
Big ol' balls
Big as grapefruits
Big as pumpkins
Yes sir, yes sir
And on my really good days
They swell to the size of small dogs
My balls are as big as small dogs
Well, it ain't braggin' if it's true
Yes sir, yes sir
It ain't braggin' if it's true
Muhammad Ali said that
Back when he was a young man
Back when he was Cassius Clay
Before he fought too many fights
And left his brain inside the ring
And sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods
Sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods
I got a friend whose goal in life
Was to one day go down on Madonna
That's all he wanted
That was all
To one day go down on Madonna
And when my friend was thirty-four
He got his wish in Rome one night
He got to go down on Madonna
In Rome one night in some hotel
And ever since he's been depressed
'Cause life is shit from here on in
And all our friends just shake their heads
And say too soon, too soon, too soon
He went down on Madonna too soon
Too young, too young, too soon, too soon
And it ain't braggin' if it's true
Yes sir, yes sir
It ain't braggin' if it's true
Muhammad Ali said that
Back when he was Cassius Clay
Before he fought too many fights
And left his brain inside the ring
And sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods
Sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods
If certain girls don't look at you
It means that they like you a lot
If other girls don't look at you
It just means they're ignoring you
How can you know, how can you know?
Which is which, who's doing what?
I guess that you can ask 'em
Which one are you baby?
Do you like me or are you ignoring me?
Do you like me or are you ignoring me?
Do you like me or are you ignoring me?
And all you need to do that
Is one good pair of big balls
Balls as big as grapefruits
Balls as big as pumpkins
Balls as big as mine
But even though my balls are big
Sometimes I wish they were bigger
Even bigger
Big as the wheels on tractors
Big as the golden arches
Big as the Golden Gate Bridge
Big as the state of Kansas
Big as Mars and Jupiter
Big as the swing of Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods
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Chelsea Hotel
Sound Clip
I still smell tobacco on my fingers
My breath reeks of pot and wine and sex
My eyes open up like they haven't in years
So I won't miss whatever happens next
You call me a thief
All right, I'm a thief
Grab a summons
Come and ring my bell
I'll be making love with my baby
In the Chelsea Hotel
I told you to meet me at eight o'clock
I said I'll be drinking at the bar
I drove between Newark and Laguardia
Trying to return a rented car
We keep missing connections today
But tomorrow would be just as well
I gotta go make love with my baby
In the Chelsea Hotel
I've been walking all around your neighborhood
My former love
You seem as far away and as sad to me
As those rain clouds above
I hope you're happy and whatever you're doing
I hope you're doing well
And please don't try to contact me
At the Chelsea Hotel
I was starting to think
The world was going to end when the calendar turns
But now you're here
I see the future, baby
And they can let the calendar burn
New love is beautiful
But new love is sad
New love brings back all the old loves
That you've ever had
I put out a casting call
And you cast a spell
And we're practicing for the millennium
Making love at the Chelsea Hotel
So who knows what tomorrow brings
But I know where I'll be waking up
Let's just listen to our breath tonight
And the breeze through the window that you opened up
Can you feel our hearts beating
Which one's yours
Which one's mine
Y' can't tell
Just another day of making love
At the Chelsea Hotel
Spent all day making love
At the Chelsea Hotel
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City of Models
Sound Clip
Even the little girls have caught the disease
Even the little girls bring grown men to their knees
Walkin' down the street you're like a mannequin
Leafin' through the pages of Cosmopolitan
In the city of models
Strip shows and one night stands
City of models
City of perfect tans
You're invisible
So it's okay to stare
Impossibly high asses
Float nine feet in the air
Every step is hot
The sand is neon blue
Wish you were here
So you could be beautiful too
In the city of models
City of one night stands
City of models
City of perfect tans
It's all right
Everybody and their brother tonight
Gonna be lookin' at each other
Look at each other
Into skirts and pants
The long, long legs are poured
Inside of halter tops
The big, soft things are stored
Someone's sleeping
By the sidewalk grocery store
Get me out of here
I can't take anymore
Of the city of models
Strip shows and one night stands
City of models
City of perfect tans
City of models
Strip shows and one night stands
City of models
City of perfect tans
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Krautmeyer
Sound Clip
Charles Manson doesn't even know his last name anymore
Charles Manson's real name was Charles Krautmeyer
He's forgotten it
Charles Manson had a buncha people
Who believed his every word
Who followed his directions
To cut up buncha rich people
Would they still have done it
If they'd known his name was Krautmeyer
I kinda doubt it
Charles Manson made a shitty album
Not too long before he got a buncha people
To believe his every word
And follow his directions
To cut up buncha rich people
Would they still have done it if they'd heard his shitty album
I kinda doubt it
Charles Manson's real name was Charles Krautmeyer
Charles Manson's real name was Charles Krautmeyer
Charles Manson's real name was Charles Krautmeyer
Ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-OOOOOOOO
Marilyn Manson took the last name of Charlie Manson
He didn't take the name Marilyn Krautmeyer
If he was called Marilyn Krautmeyer
I bet no adults with large straws up their asses
Would try to cancel any of his concerts
The way they do with Marilyn Manson
I think he should be called Marilyn Krautmeyer
He'd probably get to play a few more concerts
And maybe he wouldn't sell quite as many of his shitty albums
But at least the truth would be out that
Charles Manson's real name was Charles Krautmeyer
Charles Manson's real name was Charles Krautmeyer
Charles Manson's real name was Charles Krautmeyer
Ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-OOOOOOOO
Charles Manson really was a lucky guy
People didn't hear his shitty album
People didn't know his name was Krautmeyer
His followers never saw him pick his nose
Which I understand he liked to do a lot
Charles Manson comes up for parole every now and then
Three guys sit across from him
And talk to him for half and hour
Then stamp denied on his papers
Then run home and tell their wives about it
Maybe he should go back to Krautmeyer
Maybe they'd ignore the swastika on his forehead
And stamp approved on his papers
We hereby parole you, Charles Krautmeyer
Charles Manson's real name was Charles Krautmeyer
Charles Manson's real name was Charles Krautmeyer
Charles Manson's real name was Charles Krautmeyer
Ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-OOOOOOOO
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Crosses
Sound Clip
Stopping for gasoline
I jump back in my truck again
Roaring through the desert
South of Magdalena
The heat seeps into my skin
Whenever I get too terribly giddy
I see crosses
On the side of the road
Rattlesnakes eager to meet me
Cactus thirsty for blood
I sip on a bottle of Coke
And roll my tobacco
My windshield's the gravestone
For a million dead bugs
From the corner of my eye
I keep seeing
Them crosses
On the side of the road
Keep my eyes wide open
And my blood running strong in my veins
Please let me see my baby again
Things crawling and dying
Wind blowing
Everything just surviving
Last cloud through here
Came and went months ago
Flowers of yellow and purple
They can mesmerize you
Keep your eyes open
And lock all of your doors
I hope that you'll
Be careful wherever you go
I keep seeing crosses
On the side of the road
Them crosses
On the side of the road
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Colors
Sound Clip
We're listening to Nine Inch Nails in my car
I wonder when they'll find the body
7-Eleven's got so many bottles of juice
I love the colors
Back at the farm
We never got to sleep in the same room
I hated Uncle Max
I hope he isn't mad at me
Look out the window
See the colors
I love the colors
Colors
I love the colors
I might never sleep again
I might never dream again
But that's all right
Cause there's so many colors
I love green and red
Colors
I'll get you some blues
Colors
I love the colors
Someday I'd like to be on TV
Dead in your lap beside a gun
And a copy of Poison's Native Tongue
And some flowers of many different colors
I love the colors
Colors
I love the colors
We're listening to Nine Inch Nails in my car
I wonder when they'll find the body
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Talking Woody, Bob, Bruce, Dan Blues
Sound Clip
Well, when Woody Guthrie was sick and dying
Bob Dylan visited him as he was lying
In a hospital bed Bob sang him songs
Woody smiled and said I'm glad you come
You belong here
Go forth and be the voice of your generation
Well, above Beverly Hills one night real late
I snuck past a security gate
Parked by a Mercedes Benz
Climbed up a barbed wire fence and over
Couple of scratches, but I'd made it
To the home of Bruce Springsteen
Well, I found the boss asleep in bed
Pillows piled up round his head
I turned on the light took off my coat
Stuck a theromometer down his throat
Said don't talk
You look pale , Boss
Not at all well
I said you look bad and I asked him could he
Think of us as Bob and Woody
I said you just rest your pretty head
As I sing to you in your hospital bed
He said what the hell you talking about
I ain't sick
This ain't a hospital
And how'd you get past the security gate
I said I wrote you a song called Song To Bruce
With a tune I stole from one of yours
To his platinum records next I pointed
Said I just want to be annointedSpringsteen, I wrote you a song
'Bout a funny ol' world that's a coming along
Seems sick and it's tired it's hard and it's torn
It looks like it's dying and it's hardly been born
He started really looking sick
And I stopped singing
Then Patty his wife came in I said jeez
I'm sorry about your husband's incurable disease
I'm here to help any way I can
You know, Woody and Bob, Bruce and Dan
She said honey, what am I hearing?
He said baby, you know I'm in the prime of life
I said down to two million in sales last time out
Read the signs, Patty
He said some people think this record's my best
I said shhhhh, you need your rest
He said there's a madman on the loose
I said Woody and Bob, Dan and Bruce
He sprang out of his bed and said
All right, I've heard enough of this stuff
He grabbed my throat and dragged me hard
Down the hall and through the yard
Suprising strength for a dying man
Well, he threw me out the way I come
Barbed wire scraped my face and thumbs
I've been thinking ever since
Bob and Woody
Dan and the artist formerly known as Prince
Dan and Madonna
Bob and Woody-
Dan and Bob
So long, Bel Air
Howdy, Malibu
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Ballerina
Sound Clip
Shortly before Pittsburgh the tires came off
But we kept pouring down the interstate
Heading west and slightly north
And by the time we pulled into Cleveland
And skidded to a stop
It was noon and very cold
And we fell out of the van
Smelling smoke from the fenders
Which were twisted and scraped
And we were just in time
Just barely in time
For another interview
We just passed some factory
That makes a billion Eiffel Towers a day
And at the end of every day they melt 'em down
So they can do it again the next day
They're been doing it since the 30's
And someone in the Carter administration
Tried to get 'em to stop
But they said well, what if there's a war
Imagine our advantage
If on a moment's notice
We could drop a billion Eiffel Towers
On some unusupecting country
Like Thailand
And, oh, what a trip
What a journey
Tige plays bass all day
Jarrod just wants to sleep
Wil gets thinner every day
Tom's in Vietnam
Martha makes love and coffee
Both of them quite strong
And I just wish I could make all of them happy
We started piling Walmarts on top of the van
We had sixteen Walmarts piled up like flatbeds
Till some cop said something's wrong
And pulled us over for questioning
Every day I seem to fire
Three more poeple
And every time I do
Eleven more show up
I can't fire 'em fast enough
If right now I fired every one I knew
I'd have 6 million employees by Christmas
Six million
And there's structural damage
In the building where we're staying
Some crack or some leak
And my dreams are telling me
Get out before the whole bloody thing comes down
We've abandoned eating health food
We've abandoned taking showers
We've abandoned changing clothes
In exchange for three Big Macs a day
And a card game that theoretically don't end
For five million years
Our phone cards are dead
There's crap on all the windows
We can't get any word to the outside world
Our families have forgot we ever existed
And here I sit in my little paper room
And everything is fraught with deep, deep meaning
And sometimes I lie here and I think
Well, what if I never even get up?
What if I never move?
Would we keep going and going and going
And going and going and going
And going and going and going?
And, oh, what a trip
What a journey
Tige plays bass all day
Jarrod just wants to sleep
Wil gets thinner every day
Tom's in Vietnam
Martha makes love and coffee
Both of them quite strong
And I just wish I could make everybody happy
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Simple
Sound Clip
It's simple to run and it's simple to fall
It's simple to do nothing at all
It's simple to hide and it's simple to feel
It's simple to spin round like a wheel
But it's hard to do something that's yours
It's simple to drive a car somewhere
It's simple to sit there in that chair
It's simple to talk and it's simple to sing
It's simple to exchange diamond rings
But it's hard to do something that's yours
Some days I just like to dream
Some days I just like to dream
It's simple to walk along the path
It's simple to figure out the math
It's simple to smile and never be rude
It's simple to eat the fancy food
But it's hard to do something that's really yours
Some days I just like to dream
Some days I just like to dream
It's simple to laugh and it's simple to cry
It's simple to open up your eyes
It's simple to be too soft or loud
It's simple to sit and study clouds
But it's hard to do something that's yours
Some days I just like to dream
Some days I just like to dream
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Sound Clip
I'm as cranky as a bitch
All I wanna do is spit
Ain't nothing to eat after that feast
Been gettin' laid regular at least
And I don't wanna hurt you
So stay out of my way today
Every twenty eight days women bleed
Unless they get too much of your seed
But men gotta flush themselves out, too
But it's always sexual when they do
You women
You just stick some pad inside
Men gotta practically fall in fucking love
Beautiful trees
Beautiful trees
Beautiful trees
Beautiful trees
Let's not beat around the bush that's bad luck
I asked you in 'cause I wanna fuck
I asked you out 'cause I was hungry
But now I'm basically just tired
You don't have to leave
You can stay here
After all, this is still a love song
Beautiful trees
Beautiful trees
Beautiful trees
Beautiful trees
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Sound Clip
Joe Van Gogh is a friend of mine
He's the son of Vincent Van Gogh, you know
Joe has more friends than you do
And Joe Van Gogh is a painter too
I've shared a room with Joe Van Gogh
And all night long he grinds his teeth
It could be genetic it could be the heat
It's pressure to paint that's my belief
This I'll tell you 'cause this I know
I'm a valuable friend to Joe Van Gogh
I'm the only painter Joe Van Gogh knows
Who wasn't first friends with Vincent Van Gogh
Joe Van Gogh is a very good painter
Some sunflowers, sure but other stuff too
But how good a painter we'll never know
'Til he gets away from Vincent Van Gogh
An umbilical cord of red Dayglo
Runs from one to the other though
Through the streets of Amsterdam they go
Joe on the shoulders of Vincent Van Gogh
Joe Van Gogh has a second floor window
With a scene of Amsterdam below
He sits at a canvas with a Marlboro
In his mind Van Gogh, Van Gogh, Van Gogh
Vincent Van Gogh is good to Joe
He gave his son his ear, you know
But it can't be easy being Joe Van Gogh
Trying to paint when your dad is Vincent Van Gogh
People write songs about Vincent Van Gogh
Like Starry Starry Night and other stuff too
And it don't exactly even the score, I know
But here's one song about Joe Van Gogh
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Sound Clip
God bless you Lana
Llittle Russian girl
For talking to me
Just when I needed you most
God bless you Lana
Russian coffee girl
For talking to me
Just when I needed you most
I'm sorry that your mama
Is far away in Russia
And she can't come see you
And you can't go see her
And I'm sorry your first marriage
Ended in divorce
When your first husband felt he had to lock you in a cage
And I'm sorry that this second one
Is making you unhappy
'Cause now your husband doesn't understand his wife at all
And most I guess I'm sorry you're married and you can't
Drive up the coast tomorrow with me on your day off
But anyway Lana
God bless you Lana
For talking to me just when I needed you most
I'm glad the coffee shop wasn't busy at all
You saved me from a night of trying to scrape myself off the wall
I've just let another one walk out of my life
The sweet bird who always kept such a nice nest
For a while I came back but finally I told her
Keep your pretty eggs warm for somebody else
And now I see her eyes
In everybody's eyes
And I can't help thinking that I'm just a fool
I cry at the strip show
I cry at the stop lights
I cry in the Howard Stern movie
I cry
Right now I could cling to just about anyone
I'm a classic candidate to reb-b-b-b-bound
So God bless you Lana
Little Russian girl
For talking to me just when I needed it most
And if you weren't married, I might be with you now
And we'd be holding on so tight
'Cause if we let go
The world would start spinning
Clear out of control
Thanks for talking to me when I needed it most
I'm glad the coffee shop wasn't busy at all
You saved me from a night
Of trying to scrape myself off the wall
God bless you Lana
Little Russian girl
For talking to me just when I needed you most
God bless you Lana
Little Russian girl
For talking to me just when I needed you most
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Sound Clip
Well, I was writing a play
About Pete Rose and Bart Giamatti
It takes place in a Motel 6
Just outside of Cincinnatti
There's a table and a bottle of whiskey
They're drinking but they light a cigarette first
Pete Rose looks terrible
Giamatti looks worse
Giamatti says Pete, be straight with me
Have you been gambling on games?
Pete says Commissioner
Where I come from, we bet on everything
Commissoner says
Let's just get to the point Pete
Did you ever bet on your own team
I'm not sure what Pete's gonna reply
But I think I'll have the telephone ring
It's gonna be Shoeless Joe Jackson
Calling from Tangiers
He says Commissioner, if you don't throw him out
What have I been doing all these years
Bagging groceries and painting houses
Having to to beg and steal and rob
Pete tries to grab the receiver, he says
I can tell you stuff about Ty Cobb
Then I hear a knocking
A knocking at my door
It's my sweet Martha
And I open up
And she crawls in on the floor
Says put down your paper and pen, boy
That can wait another day
I say what's wrong?
She grabs my leg and says
All I've got to say is
Are you gambling with my love
Are you saying you don't care
Are you gambling with my love
While you sit there in that chair
Are you gonna gamble
Are you gonna gamble
Gambling with my love
I say girl, I got backers
I've got money people waiting for this stuff
I've got a theatre off Broadway convinced
One act ain't gonna be enough
I said I'm starting to roll with this dialogue
I'm getting inside Pete Rose's head
I say he can taste the Hall of Fame
She says don't you want to taste me instead?
I say girl, do you understand how with four thousand hits
A man could still feel emptiness?
And I have Pete say Commissioner, what've you got in your hand?
And he says can't you guess?
Pete says if I was a betting man
I'd say you were trying to bluff me to my face
Commissioner says too bad you ain't as good playing the odds
As you are playing second base
Ooooooooooo, gambling with my love
So she says well, what does Mrs. Rose have to say about all this?
I say I don't know, I haven't thought about Mrs. Rose
And I lean over and give Martha a kiss
She says you've got two guys in a hotel room
No other characters or special effects?
I say there's plenty of drama there
She says three acts, no sex
She says there is a Mrs. Rose, though, yeah?
I say yeah, there is, I suppose
She says what's their chemistry?
What are her specifics?
Does she have a wig?
Does she wear support hose?
I say baby, you're wearing me out
I need a break
What do you say we turn down the bed
She looks at me
She rolls her eyes
Grabs my pen and says
Are you gambling with my love
Are you saying you don't care
Are you gambling with my love
While you sit there in that chair
Are you gonna gamble
Are you gonna gamble
Gambling with my love
So now it goes like this
Pete Rose and Giamatti in a hotel room
Mrs. Rose bursts in and says
Damn it, Pete, I carried your children in my womb
She says Mr. Giamatti, you need this man
As much as he needs you
She says judge not lest ye be judged
Turns to Pete and says
Are you gambling with my love
Are you saying you don't care
Are you gambling with my love
While you sit there in that chair
Are you gonna gamble
Are you gonna gamble
Gambling with my love
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Sound Clip
Oh, how can it be?
The murderer has the same name as me
Oh, how can it be?
The murderer has the same name as me
Oh, how can it be?
The murderer has the same name as me
Oh, how can it be?
The murderer has the same name as me
And when they showed his picture in
The paper it did not shock me
But when they told of his name it
Made me scream and cry out loud
Oh, how can it be?
The murderer has the same name as me
Oh, how can it be?
The murderer has the same name as me
I went out and bought some clothes and
They asked for my credit card and
Looked at me with shock and terror
Gave it back and closed the doors
Oh, how can it be?
The murderer has the same name as me
Oh, how can it be?
The murderer has the same name as me
I stayed home and watched the TV
Ate my meat and turned in early
Through the night the bell kept ringing
Then at dawn they went away
Oh, how can it be?
The murderer has the same name as me
Oh, how can it be?
The murderer has the same name as me
When I went out all the boys ran
Round and screamed my name
Oh, how can it be?
The murderer has the same name as me
Oh, how can it be?
The murderer has the same name as me
Oh, how can it be?
The murderer has the same name as me
Oh, how can it be?
The murderer has the same name as me
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Sound Clip
Just when we got comfortable
Alia went to India
This time I was not the one that run out
When things got good
Alia
Alia
I'll remember you
Will you remember me?
It was always me the one
That left before the setting sun
Now you're gone half way around the world
I don't think turnabout is fair play
Alia
Alia
I remember you
Do you remember me?
Now I know what it's like
When they're just beyond your reach
You did not look back when we said farewell
I wanted to run to you so much
I've been through this country through and through
But I've never been to India
I guess that's maybe why you had to run off
To your old India
Alia
Alia
I'll remember you
Will you remember me?
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Sound Clip
Now it's just me and the world again
It's just another two month affair
Just me and the world again
I'll be all right
I'll be all right
It's just that I didn't know
Seeing my boy and my girl in your eyes
Playing with me, playing with you
Just another two month affair
I'll be all right
I'll be all right
It's just that I didn't know
And the trees we are passing
Keep on growing and growing
And growing and growing and growing
Maybe this time I'll decide
Never, never, never get hurt again
Me and the world again
Give me a minute I'll walk again
Just me and the world again
I'll be all right
Really all right
It's just that I didn't know
I'll be all right
Really all right
It's just that I didn't know
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Sound Clip
When you step from the shower
It's all I can do is stare at you
When you step from the shower
It's all I can do is stare at you
When you shave your long wet legs
There are no words that I can say
When you shave your long wet legs
It's all I can do is stare at you
I wish I was a painter
Then I could do you justice
I wish I was a sculptor
You make me want to take up molding clay
I want to leave something of you behind
They'll find three hundred years from now
I want to do something for you
To tell you how much I love you
When you talk your baby talk
It's all I can do is to try to be five years old with you
When your grapefruit eyes begin my day
I try to keep up and not slip away
I wish I was a painter
Then I could do you justice
I wish I was a sculptor
You make me want to take up molding clay
I want to leave something of you behind
They'll find three hundred years from now
I want to do something for you
To tell you how much I love you
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Sound Clip
Dark chocolate
I guess you could melt
But still I'd know better than to think you're food
Dark chocolate
Could you break off a piece
For me to carry on the road?
Dark chocolate
I know that you'd like to come along
But you'd never say please
Dark chocolate
Who'd believe that you once saved my life
When you're split in so many pieces?
Ooh, when we drank wine and then, ooh
It was like a curtain fell down, ooh
And everybody thinks that you're so tough
But they never really tasted you
Dark chocolate
If I peeled away your wrapping
Would you hold one of your grudges
Dark chocolate
Every time I rub against you
I come away with these smudges
Dark chocolate
I don't even care if they
Forgot to add sugar to your recipe
Dark chocolate
Don't you know I carry my own
In case of an emergency
Ooh, no one understands
Why you cut off both your hands
And I don't even know
Why you threw away your clothes
But you must have a reason
And I trust you so
Dark chocolate
You could cut yourself in hunks
Then pass 'em around and be done with it
Dark chocolate
Don't you think I know how hard it is
For you to hold back a bit
Dark chocolate
I could lick you all day long
And just be starting to taste you
Dark chocolate
They could shut the factory down
They're never going to replace you
Ooh, you're in all the hot places, ooh
Dripping on my laces, ooh
And everybody thinks
That you're bittersweet
I don't know about the bitter
But you sure are a treat
Dark chocolate
Ooh, dark chocolate
Ooh, dark chocolate
Ooh, dark chocolate
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Sound Clip
Decadent town in the southwest
Blistered decadent town
Hairy, unwashed, souless question mark
Of a decadent town
You pull me into your decadence
Every time I pass through
But deep in the guts of your deep, deep past
From somewhere the decadence grew
I knew a guy in your decadent town
He worked strip clubs most of the time
He barely understood English
But he could sure scrap for a dime
Oh, he could sure make a decision
He changed his name six times I knew
And by the time he was ready to die
He was richer then even the Jews
I knew a woman named Frida
She came to you late in her life
But she gave you her blood and when she was through
She had stolen another man's wife
Oh, God all the people I've known there
Rebecca who thought she could sing
And Annie and John and Larry and Kate
Not a one of them's gotten a thing
Decadent town in the southwest
Decadent town
Where heroin's sugar and liquor is breakfast
And nobody gives a damn
Decadent preachers who live there
Hypocrites, every one
And liars and thieves and at least one I knew of
Who cut off some gangster's thumb
You might think I'm heaping abuse now
You might think I'm going too far
But hell I don't even dislike 'em
It's just someplace I pass in my car
Decadent town that rose from the ashes
That's some old mythology I think
And if you should visit this decadent town
On me have a decadent drink
Oh decadence, what is it anyway
Just a word that some preachers out east
Made up so that folks who had more fun than them
Might stop having such a nice feast
Myself, I like that decadent town
That town in the baking southwest
That gets in your bones if you stay there too long
That's why I'm continuing east
And I'll find my own little decadent town
Wherever I happen to land
Might be in the mountains or down by the sea
Myself, I hope it's in the sand
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Sound Clip
You were my hooker
You were my slave
You were my undertaker
You dug me a grave
You were my stripper
You were my friend
You were the one
For whom I'd extend
You made me suffer
You made me flow
You made me horny
You made me grow
You made me quiver
You made me scream
You taught me new ways
Of eating ice cream
You were my clotheline
You were my cop
You were my dancer
After they would all drop
You were my mistress
You're my caboose
You were my weaknessAnd my excuse
You were my habit
You were my crutch
You were my drug that
I craved so much
You were my doctor
You were my saint
You were my angel
With a constant complaint
You made me whimper
You made me tall
You made me feel like
I's in juvenille hall
You gave me headaches
You gave me fear
You gave me words that
I needed to hear
You were my prancer
You were my shield
You were my punishment
For playing the field
You were my teacher
You were my child
You were my fantasy
Driving me wild
You were my secretary
You were my boss
You were my victim
I was your loss
I was your boneman
I was your stud
I was your reason
For once-a-month blood
I was your candy
Makin' you wince
I was your pusher
I was your prince
I was your needle
I was your shot
I was your piston
I got you hot
I was your Daddy
I was your boy
I was your Santa Claus
With a shiny new toy
I was your wise man
I was your realm
I was your director
And this was my film
I gave you reason
I gave you rhyme
I gave you focus
I was never on time
I kept you guessing
I kept you chained
I kept you hoping
It was all gonna change
I loved your looks
And the smell of your hair
When you took your clothes off
I couldn't help stare
I gave you money
You gave me soap
I brought you flowers
You brought me dope
We played all kinds of
Different games
We gave each other
Different names
You gave me pleasure
Simple and raw
I gave you attention
And I wasn't your pa
You were all scattered
I was depressed
We got each other
Out of that mess
You always aroused me
I got you all primed
Maybe I'll understand you
One of these times
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Sound Clip
Look, Ma,
They're gonna fry Tim McVeigh
She said that nice guy
Who was on the cover of all of those magazines?
Why would they want to do a thing like that?
I said well, he killed all those people in Oklahoma City
She said nonsense, people don't kill people
Car bombs kill people
And I said well, yeah, Ma
But they gotta do something with him
She said why don't they get Mike Tyson
To bite off both his ears?
And I say true revolutionaries
Never bomb buildings
True revolutionaries
Never bomb buildings
It attracts too much attention
They never bomb buildings
A little girl down my block
Was born with silicone in her breasts
Turned out her grandmother and her mother
Had both had the implants done
And evolution took care of it this time around
And I wondered what it is about
So many women with big breasts
Make them look so sad
And I thought, well, maybe it has to do with the weight,
The burden they're asked to carry in the world
To feed it, to be the object of its desires
And I wondered what burdens the rest of us are carrying all the time
And I couldn't help thinking
True revolutionaries
Never bomb buildings
True revolutionareis
Never bomb buildings
It attracts too much attention
They never bomb buildings
And I decided to go out for a walk
And do nothing except
Look everybody I see in the eyes
And not be the first to avert my eyes
No matter what
And I was planning to be gone for ten minutes
But things started happening
And I didn't return for two years
By which time I was the heavyweight champion of the world
And the expectant father of sixteen children
By thirteen different women
I was in a fishing village in coastal Spain
It was Our Lady of Abortion Sunday afternoon
All the pregnant ladies in their first trimester
Filed before the priest to receive the blessing of
"Try again sometime, try again"
The old barber had dyed his hair green for the occasion
And pierced his nipples
And was riding his skateboard to the statue of Conan O'Brien
Where he was doing backflips for the little kids
Who threw coins given to them by their parents
A visiting lecturer
Achingly handsome
Had just finished giving a
"How to build bombs in your basement" seminar in the park
All the young girls put their notebooks away dreamily
And put dandelions in their hair
The chimpanzee who had managed to type out Hamlet three years before
Was sitting in the third floor office of the driver's license building
Typing out zoning ordinances
Typing out learner's permits
Bored and lonely
Pee Wee Herman was sitting in the central square in the grass
Naked and masturbating
While all the townspeople moved to him slowly
And kissed him softly
And sung lullabies in the grass
And in Berkeley
And in Greenwich Village
And in Paris
And in Scottsbluff, Nebraska
No one sits around funky little coffee shops anymore
Talking revolution
They get a Starbucks to go
They go back to their basketball games
Where they see who can jump higher
Who can jam
Who can take it to the rack
And they all wear baseball caps
'Cept they don't say Yankees or Dodgers or Cardinals anymore
They say Nike; Reebok; Adidas
Because the pro players don't play for teams anymore
They play for shoe companies
And the kids aren't fooled
They're just biding their time
Waiting for the millennium
When all the computers will crash
Because the best scientists in the world
Forgot to make them read zero
True revolutionaries
Never bomb buildings
True revolutionaries
Never bomb buildings
It attracts too much attention
They never bomb buildings
And I was sitting there with a headful of dark thoughts
Like I sometimes get
And suddenly everything cleared
And I realized that the only purpose to revolution
Is to be able to love who you want
How you want
When you want
Where you want
So I took off all my clothes
Stole a boat
Rowed out to the middle of a lake
And I jumped in
And I looked back at you and said
Come on! Get wet!
True revolutionaries
Never bomb buildings
True revolutionaries
Never bomb buildings
It attracts too much attention
They never bomb buildings
They never bomb buildings
They never bomb buildings
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