Selections From Ted The Cow

Chapter Two
Ted the Cow has been watching TV all afternoon.
A McDonald's ad comes on.
Ted realizes he is hungry.
He gets in his car and drives to McDonald's.
"Two Big Macs and some fries," he says to the drive-thru speaker.
At the pickup window the guy gives him his sack.
"Oh man." the guy says, "you're a cow. How can you be eating burgers?"
"When in Rome, man" says Ted the Cow.
"That's disgusting," says the guy.
Ted drives off and eats his Big Macs.
"People have gotten all sensitive, " he says.
He drives to a T-shirt store and gets a shirt that says "They Eat Their Own."
Then Ted is thirsty, so he gets some pop.

Chapter Forty-One
An old dog is sitting on a bench.
Ted sits beside him.
"How's it going?" says Ted the Cow.
"Bad," says the dog, "I lost my job."
"What was your job?" says Ted.
"Factory," says the dog.
"What happened?"
"I ate a grapefruit." says the dog.
"While you were supposed to be working?" says Ted the Cow.
"No," says the dog, "at home."
"How did they know?" says Ted.
"Someone saw me," says the dog. "Someone saw me and told 'em at the factory, and they fired me."
"Sorry,"says Ted the Cow.
"My own fault." says the dog.

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